Habs dont draft Esposito.

I'm not quite sure if Gary likes it...since he refuses to communicate in a coherent way right now. We might discuss this in the future.

Price > Crosby

Apparently there is a method to his madness. I thought the poo flinging incident during the Yashin debate was just random animal behavior. But when I looked at the wall more closely I noticed It spelled out “Price > Crosby”. The little organg-outang (He doesn’t have a name yet) I bought to keep Gary company was shocked.

.

Of course Gary denied it being intentional. “I had no idea. It must be a sign from a higher power…. I need a cigarette or something.”

“Realy?…What’s this all about Gary?”

“Well obviously someone is trying to tell you…I mean us…something.”

“Someone like you?”

“Hey…I’m just the tool of the …whatever…communication…instrument……..thing.”

“Yeah…tool is right. Stop this bs.”

“Technically what's on the wall is not bullshit. But I…he… it‘s right. How many AHL playoff MVP titles did Crosby win? Yeah that’s right ZERO. I bet Pittsburgh brass is already regretting that pick.”

“Gary. Even if we take in to account a goalie has more impact on a team then a forward it would take a HUGE leap of faith to believe what you are implying. At least wait a few seasons before making such a bold statement….at least wait until Price has played 1 game in the NHL.”

“But he was MVP of the Calder Cup and the world juniors and…”

“I know, I know Gary. It’s all great and amazing. That, you can talk about. Let’s revisit the comparison in a few years. Now is not the time…..and the time will probably never come. Now clean that wall.”

Yashin

One week ago it was confirmed that Yashin had been bought out by the New York Islanders. I started discussing the possibilities with Gary. For the sake of discussion I decided entertain the possibility of Montreal making an offer.

Gary went in poo flinging mode (Something I’ve only seen before when the Maple Leafs were the topic). I gave him some time so he’d tire out and run out of ammunition. Once he calmed down we started discussing.

“I understand your reaction Gary. Yashin at $8M/year was a horrible deal. And there are still questions about Yashin’s commitment to his team and to the game.”

Apparently he still had some ammo left.

“But this contract is now a thing of the past. I think we could at least entertain some of the possibilities his new UFA status has created. Maybe not as a number 1 center and probably not as option A or B but I’m sure a big sized 30 goal scoring center might be interesting for some teams. Especially if the contract is acceptable.”

Finaly there was a breakthrough.

“What do you mean acceptable?” Gary asked.

“I realy don’t know…But I think it’s safe to say it won’t be $8M/year and it won’t be long term.”

He had finally run out of ammo but I could see his eyes scanning his immediate surroundings for possible projectiles.

“What I’m saying Gary is that we should just remove all this overpaid loser stuff from the equation. Let’s at least try to look at things coldly and with a bit of objectivity. It might still turn out to be a totally insane idea. But at least we’ll have thought this through.”

“He’s overpaid and he sucks.”

“No Gary. He’s not overpaid. He’s only overpaid if his next contract is too high….right now we don’t know.” (It’s one of these things with Gary. You have to repeat things over and over again until he brain finally pays attention.)

“He sucks.”

“Ok well that’s debatable but…at least we can start talking.”

Carey Price

I still remember the day the Habs drafted Price. I had just bought Gary a few weeks before and was eagerly waiting to see how he would react to the Montreal picks. We were sitting in my living room drinking beer and then Trevor Timmins said “….Carey Price.” Have you ever seen a monkey have an epileptic seizure? Thank god he was wearing a diaper. It was almost as bad as Pierre McGuire’s reaction on TSN.

Fast forward to this spring. The day it was announced that Halak was going to the world hockey championship and Price was going to Hamilton. Gary seemed puzzled. He did not understand why Montreal was not sending the best goalie in the NHL (as he put it) back to help Hamilton instead of sending that unproven prospect. Price had started to grow on him after wining every possible award at the World Junior Championship but there was still a way to go.

It was after Price’s first shutout in the AHL that I first heard it… “They have to trade Halak.”

And then after Price won the AHL playoff MVP Gary went even further.

“They have to trade Huet.”

“But Gary you said they should trade Halak just a month or so ago.”

“They have to trade both. They don’t need them…they have Price.” He had that same face he does when he logs on to his favorite porn site.

He explained to me how it should go down.

First: Halak + 2^nd round pick for Vinny Lecavalier. “Halak is the best goalie in the NHL all the GM’s want him and a 2^nd round pick from Montreal is something of inestimable value."

Second: Huet + Samsonov + the rights to Aebischer for Jack Johnson + 3^rd round pick. “Johnson is unproven in the NHL that’s why they have to add the pick.”

I tried to reason with him. “Those trades arent reasonable but why don’t you wait until training camp and decide there…and why not keep Halak. Huet is a UFA at the end of the season, maybe he could be part of a trade. The best scenario would leave Montreal with Price and Halak in Montreal in 2008-2009. Unless of course an offer the team cant refuse comes along.”

This is where Gary lost interest and started throwing objects in the air running around screaming.

Who is Gary?

Gary is a specially trained monkey. I bought him just after the lockout when I needed an expert to predict the upcoming season. At the time this made sense to me with the new CBA and all.

The way it was explained to me I was supposed to go to the NHL web site and then let the monkey click the mouse and he would select the wining teams. In reality all he does is find porn sites. Don’t get me wrong, a porn finding monkey is something useful but he isn’t bringing in the money I was expecting.

He spent most of the last 2 years finding porn sites and reading posts on the RDS talkback.
I think it’s now time to find an other use for him. So here I will relate Gary's thoughts on hockey related issues and I will post them here. Yes me and Gary can communicate but I cant go in to detail on how it is possible.

First I will let Gary type a little message so you know what he’s all about.

Lkjhfha liha qtihg;h;o kyugbiyhlm yhqfgby78rhy87hy437hy34087h0734h 2uiyouioioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooojgdhipuh

Giuh8-888888888888888888888838h-3444444444444444444444444444444agqh lhdsflbihsvsdLIhbvsdKLHNdlSVJnlvnkDSVLKjlVjnA…………….AAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQWGJNQoijadhodtbouijq5eh98q35y098u nbeb;jnsdb[0j8ge;nshjyhuuuuuuuuuuuuuoiuy87hupinm
kjn

Now lets get on with it